Time for the Resolutions BEFORE the Resolutions
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All right, everyone, listen up. There are only a few days left in the year, so let’s wrap it all up on a high note. You know, before the resolutions kick in. This is your chance to get all the bad habits out of your system at once, because once the calendar turns over, it’s go, go, go.
This guide is here to help motivate you with a few tips on living out your best 2019, one non-resolutiony step at a time. So let’s get at it, we’re wasting valuable time here.
Buy, Like, Everything
Before you vow to take it easy on the spending, give that wallet a little workout. When you’re all stocked up on the things you’ve had your eyes on, you shouldn’t feel quite the same need to spend all your money. Makes the transition to saving a total cinch.
Go On, Eat That Donut
Filling that belly up has a couple of great benefits. First, you can get all your favorite non-healthy foods out of the way. And second, the scale will register you a bit higher, making your new year’s weight loss all the more impressive.
Be Lazy(er)
Before you change over your calendar and begin your search for motivation, why don’t you just enjoy the laziness a bit longer? Take a nap, drink the milk straight from the carton, ‘cuz today’s peejay day.
Finish Breaking Bad (Again)
Next year is the year you start exploring more, get off the couch, and exercise. But not today, today’s the day you enjoy life indoors—and Netflix is calling.
Say Your @$%#^&s and &%$#*s
Now that the kids are starting to copy everything you say, it’s probably a good thing you’ve decided to clean up your mouth for the new year. Better get it all out of your system beforehand, though. Just do it outside, please, and when the toddlers aren’t around.
Have Another Drink
The best part about starting a new year’s resolution where you give the booze a break is that it begins AFTER New Year’s Eve. And what a perfect send-off it is. You can even just roll your New Year’s Day hangover right into your first day of this new resolution—chances are, you won’t want a drink anyway.
Chill on the Cleaning
Gonna work on getting your life and house in order next year? Great, but that’s days away. Today, let’s skip the organizing and all the dusting. That’s right, leave those dishes in the sink a little longer, because that’s January’s job.
Smoke If You Got ‘Em
Before you go cold turkey, you better exhaust all your current supplies. So finish off that carton over the next few days and enjoy every cough. Because that first week of January is going to be a tough one.
Pay Full Price
Saving money is great and all, but sometimes you miss out on all the finer things you love. And once this resolution kicks in, you’ll probably be cutting coupons and shopping at cheaper stores. But not yet. These last few days of 2019 are your time to really enjoy what you love. So enjoy your fancy coffee, and embrace your last few Sundays without clipping rebates out of the paper.
Skip the Gym
January 1st marks your return to the gym. But before you start dedicating 1-7 days per week of your time to sweating, you need to rest. Because pretty soon those muscles will be so stiff you won’t be able to even tie your shoes.
Don’t Shower
So your first spa day is set for January 1st and you’re ready to put yourself first with some much-needed self-care. Great, you deserve it. But why not enjoy these last few low-maintenance days as much as possible? So don’t condition your hair, don’t polish those nails. Just throw all your split ends and tangles underneath your favorite stocking hat and make the most of this spare time you have.
Stop Taking Your Job Seriously
No, seriously. If your goal for 2020 is to get a new job, now’s your chance to not give a crap about your current one. Come in late, enjoy longer lunches, watch all the YouTube you want, whatever you feel like. Even if you do get fired, this might be the inspiration you need to find the perfect gig.
Well, What Are You Waiting For?
Why are you still reading? The ball drops in just a few days and you’ve got some livin’ it up to do. Have fun, be safe, and good luck in the new year. And if you’re doing something awesome before the resolutions begin, tell us what we’re missing.